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Patreon January 2019 critique by Troy


Agnimalya January 2019 Critique

Efiles:
Detective Agni gets briefed on her target, and having gotten the testimony she needs, quickly brings down the villain. A fitting conclusion to this serial! It seems a bit heavy on explanation and light on action in places, but then this is a detective story, not an action story, and that’s often common for the genre.

The Scorpion Man:
Deathstinger wants a wife, but not of his people, the scorpion folk, instead a girl of the tiny Inchlines. He takes one from her home, but soon becomes angry with his choice!

His would-be bride grows despondent, listless, and is soon returned to her people by his own scorpion children. This one was interesting, and I’d like to see more of the Inchlines and Scorpion Folk in future stories.

Surya:
A young woman is traumatized, and kept in an orphanage after the death of her parents. Those responsible for her trauma are being killed, though, one by one, and her caretakers decide to find out how! Will they uncover something beyond ordinary explanation? I’d like to see this one continued, but I’m unsure that that’s the idea, as the ending is a bit ambiguous as to that to my reader’s eye.

The Argument:
A young girl faces a writing deadline, when she meets a pair of talking insects in competition demanding that she write about one of them. When one grows to enormous size, she suddenly gets an idea for her project, giant insect or not! This one was pretty cool, with a good narrative feel.

Coming Kingdom January 2019 Critique
https://patreon.com/sharmishthabasu
Critique By Troy David Loy @https://www.amazon.com/author/troyloy

The Dream:
An antique collector falls in love after a vision involving his latest purchases, and the girl of his, well, dreams. Literally. Some of the dreams’ content warn of murky doings, threatening the love of his life! Will he prevent the worst from happening to her? This one concludes nicely.

The Englishman:
Raktim and Chandra purchase a new home, one with a bad reputation, and a haunted past. What dark secrets lie hidden to be found? Who is the mysterious and ill-willed Englishman?

The Girl:
Raj and Mohana are childless, and desperately want to change that! Will Mohana’s wish for a child be granted in the wake of her strange nightmares?

The Village:
Chandralekha is taken to a place across a mountain pass, and sacrificed to a serpent deity for testing. Does she pass the test? Does she return home or fail, to become a slave forever? Good one!


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